They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
