the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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