i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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