If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
