I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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