I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
