it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
