in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
