he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
