If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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