There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
