just come out here and I will go home with you...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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