Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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