I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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