my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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