I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
