Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
