So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize