I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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