fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
