Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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