Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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