some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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