Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
