from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
