Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
