remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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