So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
