I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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