she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
