this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
