i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
