Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
