Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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