I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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