It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
