She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
