we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
