Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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