woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
