matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
