Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We named our party play list daddy issues
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
