Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
