idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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