Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
