Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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