you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
