i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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