Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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