Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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