I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
